We are here because the blueprint didn't work.

We are two people who stopped trying.

For years, our lives were measured in two-week waits, follicle counts, and the specific, hollow mathematics of probability. Between us, we navigated cancer, chronic illness, invasive surgeries, and the silent arithmetic of Low Ovarian Reserve.

We did the injections. We paid the bills. We smiled when people told us to "just relax."

And then, the road ended. Not at a destination, but at a decision. We stepped off the treadmill of trying and started the work of being.

What is Matterhood?

Matterhood is an archive of the life that happens after the plan falls apart. It is for the 1 in 6 who know that "miracles" aren't a business strategy. It is for the childless, the childfree-not-by-choice, and the partners who stand in the waiting room feeling helpless.

We built this space because we couldn't find it. We found medical advice. We found toxic positivity. We found forums full of acronyms and despair. But we couldn't find a place that said: It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to laugh at how absurd this all is.

The Protocol

Our primary tool isThe Protocol. It is a response toolkit born from hundreds of conversations we wished we’d handled differently. When the world offers you platitudes, The Protocol offers you a script.

Who Are We?

We are not therapists. We are not doctors. We are just two people who heard "everything happens for a reason" one too many times and decided to write down a better answer.

This is the archive of what didn't happen, and the celebration of what did.

Welcome to the negative space. It’s fuller than you think.